I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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