she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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