I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
