They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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