I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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