Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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