It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
