I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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