Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
