Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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