Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize