he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
3 2 1 whiskey
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
