So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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