She's like a pop up book from hell.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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