so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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