Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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