Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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