You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
