yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"