we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude