Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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