do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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