i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
