I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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