Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
