So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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