Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
