I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
