Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
