god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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