I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
