Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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