Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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