3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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