I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
