It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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