i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
