i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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