do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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