Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
