hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
