so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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