For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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