Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
this hospital has no fireball
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
