I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
