is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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