i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
