If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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