she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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