Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.