He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god