never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
