it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
