I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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