I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We're too hungover to prance.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
