Rock
Scissors
Fuck
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We just shotgunned beers for America
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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