You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
