I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
