the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
All I want is dick and wine.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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