you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
