you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
