Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
